Fat Tuesday

I wasn't going to post this. I really wasn't. I resisted all day even though it was killing me. I tried really hard to resist, but here it is 9:38 pm and I am still thinking about it. Today is not only Fat Tuesday, it is also designated Paczki Day. Seeing as though I am part Polish and married into a very proud Polish family, I did my wifely duty and ran to the European bakery last night to get my husband some Paczki to share at work today with all of his Mexican co-workers. They love this shit. They do it all the time. My husband has become a bonafide Mexican dude ... he can eat more spicy hot food than the most fiery hispanic person you know. It's become this habit of sorts ... to bring in their ethnic left overs and share them all at lunch. They dig it. What kind of "ethnic leftovers" can my husband ever bring? I'm a Irish American chick, I don't cook much that is interesting or ethnic, for that matter. Once in awhile, I will attempt something that turns out pretty awesome and he'll bring it but when I get home after working all day, I am just trying to feed my family, not win any awards. So I got him some paczki so he could share his heritage with his hombres.

When I skidded into the parking lot of the bakery at like 6:39 pm, 21 minutes before they closed, they had very few paczki left. They had bakery boxes EVERYWHERE with PACZKI printed in red on the side so I knew they were gearing up for a night of some serious baking. They didn't have any of the chocolate covered custard left so I opted for all of the raspberry and strawberry they had left. I decided to forego the "rose" because what the hell flavor is rose anyway? Who wants to eat a pastry that tastes like rose? Doesn't sound like something my manly husband or his Mexican co-workers would want to eat. I needed to bring some for my office too but I was going to have to commit to an 8 AM bakery run. Anyone who knows me knows that hurrying in the morning is completely out of character for me. I get up at 6 AM to be at work by 9 AM and I can barely do that. I waste time like it's my job. Getting out of the house to make it to the bakery and to work by 9 was going to be tough but I could do it. After all, this IS my last week in the office and my girls deserve some paczki. Besides, who doesn't love paczki? Well, I'll tell you who.....my co workers. These girls didn't even know what paczki was and there was no way in hell they were eating it.

REALLY? They are like 80 lbs combined. They RUN for fun. I totally love their dedication to fitness but what the hell do you run for if you can't go a little nuts and have a paczki? I threw off my whole damn morning routine to bring them in some paczki and when I get there they look at it like I brought fish guts in a box. One of them looked into the box and said "what is it?" It's a damn Polish donut for heaven sakes. You know, just like the Dunkin Donuts cream or jelly filled donut? She looked at me in disgust. She said "yeah, I'm not much for those filled donuts ...... maybe I could eat the filling out of them with a spoon." I could barely control myself. REALLY? REALLY? Back away from the paczki skinny girl .... do not deface the paczki by eating the filling out with a spoon. It's f'n FAT TUESDAY and you couldn't be fat if you tried so just eat the damn donut already. Nope ... she scurried off while I devoured mine.

A few minutes later she returned to my office with her iPhone in tow. I asked what she was doing and she said taking a picture so she could make a collage. WHAT? OMG!!! She scurries off again. I knew what she was doing .... she was going to take pictures and act like she was all into Fat Tuesday and paczki and post them on her Facebook like she actually ate one. Poser.

Sure enough, she posted this pretty little collage exclaiming that I brought in paczki (didn't mention that I had to explain what they were or the fact that she didn't eat one) and acted all into it, even included her little hashtags. I do give her credit though, at least I could count on her for a little Fat Tuesday festiveness. My other coworker never even looked in the box, never even acted like she wanted one. Seriously. Lacking. Fun. I'm disappointed girls!

Anyway, to all you other skinny bitches who ate paczki .... here's to you! Have a hurricane! Happy Fat Tuesday!